Residential Program

Doing What Serenity House Teaches

March/April 2004

 

Third in a series of life stories of Serenity House graduates.

 

Todd W. has earned a college diploma to be awarded in May. Active now in Serenity House's Aftercare program, he has never relapsed since he first unpacked his bags at Serenity House. He has more than five years of sobriety under his belt, and he knows what to do when temptation arises. He attends three to four meetings a week and a weekly session at Serenity House.

 

Is that a success story or what?

 

You might guess that Todd was less addicted than some clients who have followed a rockier road to recovery or that he succumbed to addiction at a later age and for a shorter period of time. You'd be wrong on both counts.

 

Todd started smoking marijuana at 12. Like many addicts, he remembers, "The first time I used I knew everything had changed and I wanted to do more. My parents were as loving as can be. But I felt alone and different. I lied even when I was little. Even with other kids, I didn't feel as if I fit in." He soon progressed to cocaine and all sorts of pills. He was kicked out of school in the ninth grade for using drugs on a wrestling team trip. He left other schools in the face of expulsion, he stole things and sold them to pay for drugs, he has overdosed and he has been arrested. This was not mere experimentation.

 

Todd's mother was called to witness his arrest when he got his car stuck in the mud, doing doughnuts in the manicured grass at a posh golf resort, and he was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia. He got off lightly. Police missed more incriminating evidence of drug use in his car and his mother still didn't comprehend that he was an addict. She got a fuller picture when school officials called her with the startling news that Todd had not attended classes in two weeks even though he dressed and left for school every morning.

 

It was not facing his mother or officials that gave Todd the most pain. The worst he ever felt was in front of some mentally disabled children at a camp where he was doing school-required volunteer service as a counselor: The children had grown to love him - as most people do, for Todd is a charmer by all accounts. He had been high the whole time he worked at the camp. When he got caught and was sent away, he had to face the children who surrounded him, hugged him, and tearfully asked him why he was going away and leaving them. That hurt, he says. However, the drugs continued to take priority - Todd was afraid to stop.

 

Like many other Serenity House residents, he was at other treatment centers first. The first one, Todd says, "was the most miserable place I've ever been. It wasn't about recovery; they yelled at you and abused you. They had no program. One girl had been there for three years. If you stood up without permission, they whacked you back down. I didn't speak to anyone for five months because if you say the wrong thing, you get in trouble. The only way to move ahead was to report other people. So I didn't talk. It's difficult to be silent for five months." After several months he was allowed to communicate with his parents for a couple minutes once a week. Staff listened in on the phone calls, he says, so he couldn't say anything negative about the place without paying a price.

 

Todd's parents tired of not being able to talk to him, so they finally took him home. "I was ready to get high," Todd says, "I didn't want to go back to the way I was with all the consequences, but I definitely would have used drugs the next chance I got."

 

Todd didn't get a chance because the next day, his parents took him to residential treatment center number two."It was a detox center," Todd says, "which was odd because I'd been clean for five months. It was like a vacation compared with the other place. I could eat cookies and watch TV; I hadn't been able to do that for months. One counselor there had heard of a place called Serenity House, and he suggested I give it a shot."

 

The first person he met at Serenity House was John P., who carried his bags in. That evening Todd watched the guys having Community. "It seemed weird to me because everyone was relaxed," Todd recalls.

 

Todd kept to himself for a while as many new arrivals do, sizing things up. The next week, Jeremy G. came in, and the two new guys became fast friends.

 

Todd's attitude was not so much thinking about recovery. "I knew I didn't want consequences but I wasn't thinking of quitting drugs at first." After a few weeks with 16 guys, most of whom were sincerely trying to recover, Todd started considering a life of sobriety, too. "When I got to Serenity House, there was a very strong community and a strong recovery effort. Peers helped foster my desire to stay clean. I felt a little peace for the first time and I wanted to keep it. I was pretty receptive to therapy. Never relapsed. Maybe there were some small moments of truth but no one turning point."

 

He quickly graduated from Avner Bush Academy. "It was awesome, I loved it." While grateful for his diploma, he was uncomfortable with the speeches and attention at graduation. "My parents were thrilled," he says. "Serenity House does the graduation exercises for the students but mostly for the parents."

 

Todd had been in an institution over a year and felt ready to leave. He asked Anne how long he had to stay, and together they decided on what he needed to acomplish before he left." When he moved out of Serenity House, he lived in an apartment with other Serenity House alums, including his friend Jeremy.

 

Todd's high school GPA was 1.2, even counting his success at Avner Bush, but he talked his way into Oglethorpe University in the admission interview. "I screwed around in high school, but I'm ready to be serious now," he told the admissions counselor. Undoubtedly, at an appropriate point in his solemn self-deprecation, he flashed his winning smile. They took him on probation and he made the necessary Cs to continue. He says he was never a good student, lacking study skills and discipline. "Nothing changed from high school to college," he says. "I showed up, took notes, did some homework. There was plenty that I didn't do." By attending classes, listening and doing well on tests, he managed to double his GPA. He finished with a 2.4. More significant, he finished sober.

 

If schoolwork never turned Todd on, the world of work does. Between his final exam in December and his graduation ceremony in May, he has been working part time at an asset management company where, as a business major, he was an intern. He's actively job hunting.

 

"I find when money is on the table I apply myself a bit more.I value working hard; it gives me a feeling of satisfaction," he says, adding ruefully, "I could have had a lot of satisfaction in high and college that I passed up."

 

Todd definitely knows the value of a dollar. To a buddy who teased him about his beat-up old ballcap recently, Todd replied, "Look, Dude, that cap cost me $35. I've worn it two years, and I'll continue to wear it until it falls off my head. Thirty-five dollars is a ton of money." He leaves his favorite headgear behind for the job search though, looking very cool in corporate casual chic.

 

For fun, he enjoys riding a motorcycle - he has a dirt bike and a street bike - spending time with his friends and being outdoors a lot. Lately he has been picking up shifts at Serenity House.

 

Occasionally tempted when something will remind him of using, Todd knows he will always be an addict, but he believes that what Serenity House taught him about staying sober will work. "I don't want to ever do drugs again."

 

Sobriety, hard work and that smile are going to write best-selling sequels to this success story.